Guest post by Anicia Bragg
Dating can be awkward and awful for a guy. You’re putting out feelers constantly, chatting women up at bars or messaging on dating sites, putting yourself through plenty of cold calls just to get your foot in the door. It can be rough! But once you get that girl to say yes, your first thought is, how do I impress the hell out of her and get past the first date? Let’s jump in headfirst shall we.
Some behavioral studies suggest you have the set number of minutes at the start of your first date to wow her. With this smartphone generation, the time appears to be shorter, so you’d better use them wisely! Odds are if your date starts checking Instagram and Facebook while you’re being your suave self, then it’s not going very well. You’ve got to keep her attention and interest right off the bat. For some men, it comes easy, for others it’s like wearing 2 left shoes. For the latter guys, I’m here to help get you on the right path!
Let’s Get You Looking GQ
Everyone’s a judge these days and your date is no different. From the minute you walk in, you can be sure she’s going to be judging you by your hair, clothes, breath, body odor, speaking mannerisms, and overall appearance. Sound shallow? Sure, it is. But you’re doing the exact same thing to her! Think of it like this, there isn’t much difference between going in for a work interview and a date. You wouldn’t go into an interview with your beat up jeans, tennis shoes, oily skin, and your hair looking like a rats nest. You also wouldn’t talk to talk heavy politics or get into offensive language on an interview. Same rules apply on your date.
Wow your date with a bit of grooming. Shower, brush your teeth, put a bit of product in your hair, put on your best outfit on for your big night out. Have a female friend? Ask her if your outfit looks okay. Trust us, your date will swoon over you.
Didn’t Your Mom Tell You Not To Curse?
We’re making this a separate point because it cannot be stressed enough! You know how when you go to grandmas for the holidays and your mom has to remind you to use Sunday Church voice? Basically the same thing here. Avoiding swearing. F— I know right? Studies show that kind of language can be a huge turn off for girls. No biggie. You can ease her into your sailor swears at a later date and for much dirtier reasons! But for now, try and be a gentleman. Pretend you’re Fred Astaire.
When The Bill Comes, Pretend You’re on Madmen
Yeah, yeah, it isn’t the 1950’s, but it’s still considered date etiquette to pay for your date. Even if she’s super into feminist equality, you’ll find your date still appreciates you trying to take care of her. It’s a good sign that you’re in a good place and she can feel secure should things proceed.
If she insists on going Dutch (splitting the check), sure, go with it, but not after you’ve made your offer.
When Talking, Make It A 2 Way Street
Some people have the nasty habit of talking “at” people — spouting off their personal life story, hilarious inside jokes, bragging about their lifestyle. You know, everything is about them. Don’t get me wrong, we all need to just release and talk at someone, say after a long day at work. Your date? Not one of those times. If you wanted to be on a date with a mirror, you could have stayed home. Excited to talk? Awesome! But don’t be so excited that you alienate your date from a back and forth conversation. That means asking what her interests, hopes, dreams, wants, needs are. You ultimately want to ask questions she’ll be excited to answer!
Laugh Lola Laugh
Women love a man who can make them laugh. That’s your secret weapon! Using your best wit and charm. Endeavor to tell at least one story that makes her laugh out loud. Don’t drop your dirty guy jokes just yet. The best thing about making her laugh, you can subtly flirt with her. Light innuendo, word play. You want just enough fuel to start a fire, not a barrel of gasoline to burn down the house.
There’s Something In The Air
Don’t expect your date to come home with you on the first date. If it comes up, make it known you wouldn’t expect her to. You’ll seem more gentlemanly. That being said, you’re still going to build sexual tension. You want to plant a seed in her mind so she’ll at least be thinking about you in that way. Let her mind build it up and decide if she wants to come with you now..or later.
But you need to start the tension — make eye contact (dilated pupils are a great sign that she likes you), drop those funny innuendos, and introduce some element of touch into the evening. Now don’t get handsy if you’re not getting the okay signals. What I mean is test the waters by sitting close to her, lending an arm if you’re walking down the street, pull out her chair and touch her shoulder, or in a crowded environment, guide her through it with a hand on the small of her back. This will get her heart racing, not to mention build some trust in you.
While there is definitely a game of “cat and mouse” to be played during the first date dance, there is still something to be said about being yourself. After all, if you put on the whole dog and pony show during your first date, and act like somebody else, then she’ll probably end up tiring of you once you stop. You want a girl to like you for you, and why not? You’re pretty awesome! All of these tips are really about making sure you’re the most awesome version of yourself. Hopefully, your date sees that too!
Guest post by Anicia Bragg
Photo Credit: Michael Franco
